· The four-months-after-they-were-formed-were-signed-by-Sub-Pop wunderkinds, The Thermals, will blow your mind tonight at North Six.
· So, all your friends are out of town? Don't sweat it! Now, no one will ever have to know about "the night when you flashed your titties and dry-humped the bouncer at the Courtney… »
Paul, Hastings, Janofsky, and Walker, LLP lost a lawyer yesterday. He won't be returning, either, after his farewell memo. "In fact," he writes, "I dare say that I would rather be dressed up like a pinata and beaten than remain with this group any longer." »
The weather appears to bite ass, but we'll still be bailing the hell out of Manhattan mid-afternoon with the rest of you. (Although, honestly? We might just skip the mad LIRR rush and take in an early showing of Soul Plane, which is sure to be the Citizen Kane of blacksploitation airline industry films. Seriously — … »
1. After five heartbreaking years and millions of dollars, Jerry Seinfeld has finally completed his life's work: a five-car garage on the Upper West Side.
2. What heartless French bastard stole NYT film critic A.O. Scott's laptop? And you wouldn't believe how much we'd pay to get our hands on it. You know you wanna see …
In case you only read Gawker — in which case, you're fucked anyway — you've probably heard that you're suppose to prepare yourself for Massive Amounts of Imminent Terrorism. Like, now. Immediately. Whatever! »
We're not naming names, unless the lady herself wants to come forward. We actually think she's a hero — I can't even watch FOX without wanting to crap myself. Can't imagine what would happen to my own bowels if I attended one of their parties. »
Earlier today, we graphed out the NYT mentions of Balthazar over its seven-year history. But we forgot one important thing — cancelling out the NYT site's search results for alleged actor Balthazar Getty! Doh! As you can see, when Mr. Getty is removed, the resulting graph forms a disturbing face. Surely this has some… »